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A great Mindfulness Teacher once said your True Home is ‘being right here right now’  

 

For anyone who has ever felt a sense of dis-ease , or that ‘home-sick’ sort of feeling, or for anyone who has experienced loss or fears loss in different forms, Mindfulness can help us in many ways. 

 

Mindfulness comes from a Pali word “Sati” meaning ‘to remember’ 

This is not referring to general use of our memory , it is referring to ‘remembering the present’ and as Jon Kabat Zin describes “Paying attention in the present moment in a particular way , with curiosity and kindness, without any judgement” As best as we can right now. 

 

There is a lot that can distract us from paying attention in the moment and several obstacles to us having an attitude of curiosity and kindness. Thankfully the Yoga Sutras and various teachings within Mindfulness can help us practice and the goal of the practice (if there is one) is “Self” realisation and being with life as it is. 

The Yoga Sutras also include teachings on the obstacles we may face internally for example “The Kleshas” one of these is fear of death & dying. Any form of loss or fear of loss can be a lot to get your head around. However Mindfulness & the Practices in Yoga (both the physical postures, breath work and the internal practices of concentration and observances – how we treat ourselves and others) can all contribute to finding more ease in life and less dis-ease. 

 

Many come to Mindfulness Trainings or Yoga Teacher Training when they hit obstacles and want to find ways to deal with how they are feeling. When they have lost a loved one, or going through a break up, a loss of job or chapter change in life (perhaps their children have left home , or won’t leave home;) and they wish to re-connect with themselves , or get to know themselves again , given their new circumstances. Aside from wanting to get fit, strong, healthy and flexible in the body,  Mindfulness shows us how to become flexible in the mind and to observe its various states without getting caught up in them. By doing this we can begin to decrease the overwhelm that may come with certain life challenges , such as fearing loss. 

 

Ive had several conversations with those who come to trainings or Mindfulness Mentoring about grief and loss. Together we have used Yogic and Mindfulness practices to help manage the full spectrum of feelings that can arise when going through different forms of Grief. Many have found relief after a break up, or death of a loved one or getting over work or relationship challenges . 

 

I certainly can relate to many forms of loss or fearing loss , working as a nurse dealing with death and dying , losing family members and as I get older , certainly fearing losing those I love.  I find the practices within Yoga & Mindfulness does help to move from a state overwhelm toward acceptance. It also helps me re-prioritise things and focusing on spending time with those I love and the things I love doing. 

 

Of course we all know and understand at one level we are all part of the cycle of life and death. However the intensity of feeling what we are feeling can be challenging and can cause us to miss the special moments happening in front of us right here right now. One of those obstacles is fear , or clinging , or identifying with what’s going on in the mind. We can miss so many moments that can give us real pleasure and joy because the mind is some place else (generally that has either been and gone or not yet come) and this can cause unnecessary angst or suffering. 

 

I noticed recently when visiting my parents , that I always feel “at home” regardless of where they have lived (It may have something to do with Mums home cooked potato salad and the fact my Stepdad always has the gate open ready for me to drive in) 

I also noticed as I was leaving my Mum & Stepdads home to come back to my home (with extra dishes of Mums potato salad packed;)  mixed feelings of love, gratitude, and a kind of “home sick” feeling as I left. I recognised it as uncertainty, fear (an underlying sense of ‘when will I see you again’ – this thought lead to a whole string of emotions) I felt the intensity rise up.  Mindfulness doesn’t stop us from feeling, it  can however,  remind us to be present with what we are feeling. To not judge it as something wrong, but rather a very natural part of being human. 

Without judging the feelings or trying to push them away, we can soften the skin, take a deeper breath in , a long one out and practice feeling them.  Without an added thought train of the what if’s , or self judgement, there is more space to feel them and understand the very roots of them. Fear of loss can often be there as a result of how much we love someone or something. 

 

 Mindfulness Training teaches us about different states and which part of the brain we are operating from. Each part of the brain has different expressions, certain thoughts and feelings when activated. Meaning we think and feel differently depending which system is ‘online’ . The great thing about practicing Yoga is that it can get us more in tune with this and help us to shift states more easily and also accept all states (including our reactions) as part of being human. 

We can be thankful for our breath and ability to smell the fresh breeze & hear the birds in the trees. 

 

We can use Mindfulness to keep us in the present moment and also register these moments as pleasant (like savouring them) This has a regulating effect on the nervous system. Often the negativity bias (which is easily triggered) can have us on high alert to help us protect ourself. Fear of loss can activate this system causing a ripple effect of panic or getting stuck in sadness. Of course it is normal to feel these things – we do not have to live their full time. With Mindfulness  can learn how to strengthen our inner resources (that place inside that feels like home) It may not be a physical place or your actual home, but tapping into the feeling of safety, security, contentment and connection. We all get that from our own special places in our own special way. It maybe from your Mums or Grans home cooked meal or a certain activity that helps you to feel that sense of ahhh – I can just do nothing and be as I am. 

 

 For me it’s Mums potato salad waiting for me always with a second lot to take back home with me when I leave  or the simplicity of sitting out on my surf board, looking back at the Moffat Beach cliffs watching the birds fly overhead. It’s also feeling connected to others while sharing Yoga , observing the simplicity and beauty of nature (Pete the Peewee joining us on our Yoga mats or the Cockatoos chirping) All this happening around us while we all go through our own stuff on the Yoga Mat . 

Tapping into these inner & outer resources can help us when feelings bubble up, not to over ride them but to realise where they really stem from so we can be less fearful of them and instead use them as reminders to find our way back to our true ‘home’ and to appreciate the journey as we go, metaphorically so.

Our true home is being right here , right now. 

 

 

Namaste

 If you’d like to learn more or give yourself time and space to build your inner resources: 

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